The sleepy commute

“I just turned 35…”

2012-01-15T16:35:00.000-05:00

I think it was sometime in the late Spring/Summer that Istarted joking about throwing a rock show for my birthday. It seemed silly at first since I had no cluehow to set one up and I was never one for throwing parties for myself in thefirst place. You only turn 35 oncethough, so why not do something to celebrate?

The people I wanted to play this theoretical birthday showwere obvious choices – Tanya, Chris, and Hilken. Aside from being a huge fan oftheir music, all three have been there for me many times over as real friendsthroughout the 15 or so years we’ve known each other. Still, I was stupidly shy and not sure aboutasking them about playing some sort of show. (Chris and Hilken hadn’t played togetherin a long time, and Tanya rarely plays out these days.) Eventually I stoppedbeing stupid and forced myself to ask them. I’d kick myself if I didn’t atleast ask, and there wouldn’t have been any hard feelings on my part if any ofthem had said no.

After I asked, Hilken suggested turning a show at the Haventhat she already had lined up around my birthday into a party. Chris and Tanyasoon replied that they’d be into playing, and the birthday show was born. Iloved that they all replied so quickly when I didn’t think they’d even be intoplaying a show. Chris rightfully reprimanded me later on for thinking theywouldn’t do it -- I totally deserved that.

Weeks passed until it was finally time for the show. I endedup running late getting to my own party. (The trek from Somerville to JP on the 39 busis not an easy one.) A little panic set in after I got a few text messagesasking where I was, but it worked out. Once I got there, I remember thinking,“Shit, this is really happening?” when I saw them through the window of the pub.

The music quickly started after a few friends ushered me tothe front. I wasn’t sure what to expect in terms of songs, but really, thethree of them playing mattered more than what they played. Tanya started thingsoff with one of her songs, and they made their way through four songs in all. Theyeven played a Fuzzy favorite that I hadn’t heard in almost 10 years.

While the set was short, they played four more songs than Iwould’ve heard if I hadn’t asked. It meant a lot that they were willing to dosomething like this for me. It seemed fitting to celebrate reaching mymid-thirties with people who played a big part in my adult life so far.

Ladies Rock Camp Boston, Feb 18-20, 2011

2011-03-07T00:44:00.006-05:00

I’ve seen so many bands play TT’s and never expected to be in a band playing that very same stage. Then Ladies Rock Camp Boston happened.

When I first heard about Ladies Rock Camp Boston (LRCB), I e-mailed my friend Lisa a link to the LRCB site and told her she should do it since she had a guitar. She was tempted to sign up, but there was a catch involved. She would only sign up if I signed up. After going back and forth about it with Lisa, I caved into the peer pressure. I’ve known Hilken, the LRCB Program Director, since her Fuzzy days in the '90s and ran into her at a show one night. When I asked her if there was still space available, her response went something like, “You’re fucking doing it.” How could I not do it after that?

I chose keys just because I had taken piano lessons while in elementary school. If I was going to embarrass myself in a room full of people, I wanted at least some inking of how to play my instrument. Muscle memory would hopefully kick in once I was back behind the keys. I wasn’t even sure when I last played a keyboard. It sort of became a running joke between me and Lisa that our bandmates would totally hate us due to our combined lack of talent and skill.

Playing ability aside, the bigger hurdle was actually getting used to the idea of being on stage in front of people. It’s so not in my nature to do any type of public performance or speaking. I tend to avoid it as a mostly shy/socially inept person. I brought this up in an e-mail to a musician friend who wrote back, “being shy/socially inept is practically a prerequisite for being in a band.” Somehow knowing I wasn’t alone in this eased some of the pre-camp nerves.

That feeling of not being alone carried over to the camp itself. I saw familiar faces among the volunteers and campers who were both surprised and psyched that I was going through with it. The amount of support was pretty overwhelming at times. Being constantly told “You rock!” or “I’m proud of you!” was enough to boost anyone’s ego and self esteem.

The musical training was just as intense as the support we received. In a cramped basement room, the keyboard muscle memory slowly took over as I goofed around to random songs and went over scales and chords during instrument instruction. My bandmates seemed to also have the same intense training in separate parts of the building. It was incredible to hear how far we all had come along by the end of the weekend. I had my doubts as first, but I was happy with the song we created with the help of our fantastic band coaches.

The showcase itself was a blur. The entire night was a fun, scary, and inspiring experience filled with music and supportive friends. I'm still in awe at how great all the bands were given the time constraints. Any expectations I may have had were exceeded tenfold. In the end, it really didn’t matter if any of us didn’t play perfectly. The performances seem almost secondary to what the campers all experienced that weekend. I was honored to be a part of it and so, so glad that I was able to break out of my comfort zone and go for it.

hmmmmm.

2009-07-15T22:31:00.001-04:00

Thinking about it.